19 ani. 19 Patimi. 19 Trandafiri. Asta sunt eu insumata intr-o cantitate. Am hotarat sa continui sa lupt in razboiul in care m-am trezit azvarlita de prin abisuri astrale. Asta zi implinesc 19 ani. Sunt mandra de viata mea de pana acum. Sunt umilita de viata mea de pana acum. Nu regret alegerile care le-am facut ,dar regret ce au ales altii pentu mine. Acum sunt mai acutala decat pana acum.Sunt mai incisiva si ma infig mai mult in realitate. Si cu cat o fac mai indarjita, cu atat ma intoxic mai tare,dar cum sunt constienta de asta,imi administrez leacul zilnic. In ultima vreme,ma simt sufocata...sa nu pot respira e cel mai teribil pentru mine..pentru ca eu sunt adiere,vant,aer,negura si furtuna... si alimentez toate acestea inhaland si exhaland,or oameni din juru-mi imi fura oxigenul si il irosesc pe...nimic. Eu...ma iubesc mai mult.Ma venerez mai mult. Nu pot renunta la mine. Suna egoist sau narcisist? Imi pare rau ca asta ai deprins...inseamna ca tu nu stii cat de important esti tu pentru tine... Ti se pare absolut normal si nobil? Felicitari,esti om..macar stii ca tu esti cea mai importanta persoana din viata ta. Multe sunt pe care le-as mai scrie..dar eu las versurile codate si fragmentele din mine sa glasuiasca in locul meu...
Sunt la punctul critic.Eu sunt punctul critic.Daca stagnez,mor.Stagnare=moarte.
Daca indraznesc sa respir,ii spulber pe cei doi care m-au inconjurat si m-au pazit ca niste cerberi pana acum: tata si fratele. De cand aveam 11 ani , traiesc ca o mama si sotie neimplinita..uneori simt ca nu m-am nascut libera. E destul deja...de 7 ani aud ca nimic din ce fac nu e bine,nu e complet,tot ce gandesc e gresit,sunt o visatoare ce zboara prea sus pentru ei,nu sunt materialista cum isi doresc ,nu sunt 'femeie de casa' cum vor ei...Sunt Radiana.Sunt mai mult de-atat si voi fi mai mult de-atat.Uneori o felicit pe mama ca m-a parasit si ma bucur ca e libera...desi nu inteleg de ce m-a lasat in temnita asta fara sa ma avertizeze,eram doar o copila...Oricum,scapa cine poate! Totusi mi-as dori sa o gasesc candva sa o intreb daca a meritat...daca a meritat sa isi asume dreptul la cautarea fericirii. Pentru ca sunt pe punctul sa mi-l asum si eu.
De 4 ori m-a lovit tata azi...4 pumni. De ce? Pentru ca nu sunt cum trebuie. 'Trebuie.' E ultima data,ultimele lovituri.Am mai spus asta...o spun de 7 ani.
Mai am o optiune...Sa fiu cum vor ei.Ma laud acum ca ma pot adapta la orice.Dar in felul asta imi ucid fiinta interna..in favoarea cui? Nu ar merita.Si doare,pentru ca as face asta,din iubirea ce o simt fata de tata,frate.Dar ei sunt 'nimeni'...si sunt malevolenti...acizi,critici,agresivi. Desi m-au ocrotit si hranit,le raman recunoscatoare.Dar atat deocamdata.
Annun Saah it is a pseudonym created and used by me,Radiana Georgiana Pit ( 21th of October,1990 ).
The first concept: Annun, stands for the spelling of Annwyn (welsh) ,as it represents the unconscious of the owner of the name,the depths and the profound activities of the human mind and spirit that cannot be revealed into the real life. Also,the concept Annun was metamorphosed through phonetic and numerology as such : two consonants ,two letters corespondents of number 5 (the letter 'n') stand between two vocals : 'a' (1) and 'u' (3) ,and followed by another 'n' consonant. The number that corresponds with the concept: A+N+N+U+N = 1+5+5+3+5 = 19 ; 1+9 =10 ; 1+0=1 . Number 1 stands for unity, creation, independence and also,according to chaosophy 1 stands for Genesis.Also,the word has 5 letters ( 5 stands for sensuality, pleasure ) and 5 are the points of a pentagram.
The second concept: Saah is an Egyptian name for Orion, but it also might be a star from the Orion gathering of stars . Saah is a star related to my life and astrological researches,as it follows Saah is also an astral name and is related to the element of Air (first element). The word 'saah' is composed from two vocals between two consonants.The first consonant is 's' which correlates to 1,the following vocals are both 'aa' which correlate to 1 as well and the following consonant is 'h' which correlates with the number 8.According to this, 'saah' equals 11 ( S+A+A+H = 1+1+1+8= 11; *The numbers 11, 22, and 33 are said to be master numbers which are not reduced to a single digit. People whose names correspond to these numbers are said to be highly developed spiritually .According to chaosophy 11 is the number of Azerate,of Chaos and of Kali,is the number for everything that human mind,spirit and flesh cannot conceive. Also,the word has 4 letters (4 is the number of solidity, dullness).
The two concepts together form the result of my imagination as Saah the only star on Annun's sky ( Annun is everything/nothing that I am and Saah is my present astral and human existence ). Also, the number of these two is 3 ( Annun=1 + 11=Saah => Annun Saah = 12; 1+2=3 ) which stands for power, generative force and holiness,3 is the number of the sacred.The name was thought and imagined by me, Radiana Georgiana Pit, a name that correlates as well with my real name and my work.
Ego sum qui sum!Ego sum ars! Ego sum opus!Si eu sunt Vantul si Aerul si Negura...Nici apa nu ma ineaca,nici focul nu ma arde ,nici pamantul nu ma inghite!